How Can You Motivate Your Kids To Do Chores and Be Helpful?

If you want your kids to help around the house more without making it an unpleasant experience for them or you, the following simple suggestions can help.

Want to get your kids to be more helpful around the house? These tips can help motivate your kids to do chores.

Children are busy little creatures. They love to run around, play, and entertain their parents with stories about friends and school. Kids want to please their parents. They love to make them proud of their accomplishments and achievements.

As with most things in life, just because it’s important doesn’t mean it’s easy. On good days getting kids to do chores can feel like a struggle, and on bad days it can feel like an outright impossibility. Still, it is worth staying the course. Raising helpful kids is beneficial to their home life when they’re little, and will benefit them in adulthood. It’s a classic win/win that is worth the difficulties and struggles.

We have put together ten tips and strategies to help you get your little helpers to do chores around the home. As with all things kid related, keep in mind that the journey is just as important as the destination. You will have good days and not-so-good days, but every moment you spend teaching and mentoring your children will pay dividends in the future. They might not thank you now, but they will thank you later.

1. Start Early

It is never too early to start teaching kids about responsibility and chores. Even toddlers can help with simple tasks like picking up toys or putting dirty clothes in a hamper. Kids love to do something which gets immediate results. Little ones can organize the family shoe rack and straighten pillows on a couch or bed.

Little ones tend to have very set routines around mealtime, bathtime, nap time, and bedtime. Use every one of these routine opportunities to ingrain a little piece of responsibility. At mealtime, even very little children can carry their plates to the kitchen or sink, even if they need a stool to reach the counter. At bath time, toddlers are more than capable of making sure their toys are put back in the bath bucket and their bath is drained. Naptime can bring an opportunity to have them put their book back on the shelf after reading. Bedtime can be a chance to lay out their clothes for the next day or tidy their room before going to sleep.

As kids get older, you can gradually increase the complexity of the chores, but don’t underestimate the importance of those early years. Habits are formed in children when they are very young. If they get in the habit of leaving their messes for mom and dad to clean, that will be a bad habit they will later have to break.

2. Make Chores Fun

Mary Poppins once famously invented a game called “Tidy Up the Nursery.” Us mere mortal parents may not be able to get toy soldiers to march into toy boxes, but we can make chores an enjoyable experience for children. There is no question that chores can be boring. And kids hate boring. If you can make them fun, your kids will be much more motivated to help.

You can turn chores into a game simply by setting a timer and making clean-up time a race. This works particularly well with little kids who love to beat their parents in such household Olympic trials as brushing teeth, putting PJs on, and picking up bedrooms. You can role-play superheroes cleaning up a room or a famous basketball player shooting baskets in the toy box. Music always helps set the mood, and children love to dance while being productive.

Everything is more fun when kids don’t have to do it alone. The more mom, dad and other siblings engage in chores together the more kids enjoy them. Afterall, kids love spending time with their parents, and if this is something you do together they will see it less as a burden and more as an opportunity to be together. In addition, if you do chores with them they will learn the right way to do things, and you will appreciate that later when the dishes are perfectly stacked and the carpet is combed for legos.

3. Be Clear and Specific

When assigning chores to kids, it’s best to be as clear and specific as possible. You might think you are being crystal clear when you tell your kids to clean their bedroom, but to a small child this might feel overwhelming. Instead of just saying “clean your bedroom,” assign your child specific tasks. It can start with putting books back on shelves, stuffies into baskets or making their bed.

Kids need little wins to feel like they are being helpful. If the chore feels too big for them to finish, they will often give up before they even start. Every room can be broken into segments and jobs, and each achievement can be celebrated. A bathroom has a shower, toilet, sink, drawers, medicine cabinet, and floor. Each of these things can constitute a separate task. The more encouragement kids get for specific behavior, the more they will want to repeat that behavior.

As kids get older, of course the jobs can get bigger. No one wants to sit in their teen’s room and clap every time they manage to pick-up a book and put it back on the shelf. If that teen has been cleaning their room since they were 2, you shouldn’t have to micromanage them nearly as much as you would otherwise. A child who has been raised to understand how to divide and conquer a task will be much more likely to dive-in and be confident they can get it done.

4. Use a Chore Chart

A chore chart is a great way to keep track of the chores your children are responsible for and reward them for completing them. Chore charts help to organize tasks and encourage the completion of one before another is started.

Kids need motivation. A chore chart provides a visual representation of progress, which encourages them to keep going. We all know that positive reinforcement is better than punishment, and chore charts are the ultimate positive reinforcement. Kids get the instant gratification of seeing their hard work pay off with a reward.

A digital chore chart is even better than a paper chart because it will allow you to be consistent and more organized. The main problem with chore charts is that parents stop using them. When they travel, they’re no longer around. Sometimes parents just don’t want to go to the kitchen and put the star on the chart. Digital solutions have brought the chore chart into the 21st century.

Digital chore charts can also be more quickly adapted to the current demands of the household. Sometimes it is very helpful to focus on one problematic area at a time – whether it’s a cubby, bathroom, or messy bed. A digital chart lets you change this focus monthly, weekly, or even daily, so that chores don’t feel stagnant and boring. Consistency is key, and a digital solution is the easiest way to be consistent.

5. Set Expectations

It is important to set expectations with children about their chores and responsibilities. If your kids think chores are optional, they will exercise the option not to do them. If chores are simply an expected and necessary part of their daily routine, children will be much more likely to complete them.

One way to set clear expectations is to establish a routine that requires chores to be done before privileges are rewarded. Think of all the privileges children become accustomed to in life, from dessert after meals to screen time. Now imagine all of those privileges come with preconditions. Children can get used to the fact that they don’t get dessert until the table is cleared and the dishes are done. They can grow accustomed to the fact that they don’t get a Friday night movie until their bedrooms are clean.

Kids love routine. Building healthy habits into those routines will cut down on the whining and complaining when kids feel something is being sprung on them unexpectedly.

6. Lead by Example

Kids are always quick to point out injustice and unfairness. They might not notice that they had to step over 17 toys to make the dangerous journey to their bed, but they are definitely going to point out that their sibling got slightly less broccoli at dinnertime. If you ask your child to take their plate to the kitchen but leave yours on the table, a tantrum will surely ensue.

It is not an exaggeration to say that parents do one million more chores than children. But all too often, kids take this fact for granted. Leading by example is less about adjusting your routine to add more chores (as if that were even possible) and more about being honest about all the chores you do.

Laundry, dishes, an actual JOB that keeps the mortgage paid – these are things kids in theory know their parents do, but they take them for granted. Explain to your kids all the ways mom and dad contribute to the household without complaint. This is just the normal way mom and dad contribute to the household. Once your kids understand that all of these things take actual work (folding 17 loads of laundry a week is actually a chore) they will be much more likely to appreciate and want to follow your example.

7. Provide Positive Feedback

Everyone loves positive feedback. It’s simply part of human nature. Kids not only love positive feedback, but they also need it. Childhood is a time of extreme growth and expansion. Kids will expand in whichever ways they get encouragement. Provide a vacuum of feedback, and they will just drift – frequently in the direction encouraged by peers and television.

We all remember what it was like before we had kids. We had big plans for how our kids would behave. There would be no screaming in restaurants, no fits on airplanes, no yelling in parking lots, and no legos on floors. Our kids would be solid, upstanding members of our homes and society in general.

Now that we have those kids we know, getting to that place comes with a LOT of “good jobs,” “you’re the BESTs,” and “I can’t believe you picked up 10 toys in 10 minutes!” Before you have kids you think, does that kid really need his parents to throw a party just because he managed to pee in the toilet? And after you have kids you know just how necessary that potty party is to childhood.

Never stop the positive reinforcement. Never stop telling your kids about all the good things they do and how proud you are of them. You can provide this feedback with your words and with rewards on their chore charts. Even though it won’t seem obvious overnight, they will gravitate in the direction of that positivity.

8. Make Chores Age-Appropriate

While it seems like children are vessels of infinite possibility, capable of even more than we ever imagined when it comes to chores it’s time to temper expectations a little. The same kid can be in charge of making sure all their classmates get out the door for the fire drill, and come home and not be able to tell their sibling it’s time for dinner.

It’s important for chores to be in line with a child’s abilities, both physical and mental. A child might be perfectly capable of physically picking up an entire bedroom, but mentally it might seem overwhelming. Giving kids tasks that align with their physical and attention span abilities will be key to getting anything accomplished.

Making chores age-appropriate also means meeting your child where they are at that moment. A tired toddler is very different from a well-rested toddler. A hungry 10-year-old is very different from one who just had an after-school snack. An energetic child who has been sitting in a classroom all day is very different from one who has managed to run around and get some of their energy out. After school, an age-appropriate chore for even a tween might just mean hanging up their backpack in their cubby.

Tailor chores to age and ability and kids will be much more likely to accomplish them.

9. Be Flexible

While setting expectations around chores is important, flexibility is equally as important. There are some nights when kids will struggle to get their chores done, either due to sickness, being overscheduled that evening, or simply having a big test the next day that requires all of their attention.

You can only be flexible if there is a routine to flex from. Once a routine is established flexibility is key to avoiding burnout. If kids feel that their parents are too rigid they will get discouraged and quit trying altogether. Flexibility will also start to teach kids time management skills. As kids age the expectations can become more general, giving them more flexibility in meeting them. While an 8-year-old might need to know that their room needs to be tidied after they get home from school, a teen might just need to have their room cleaned before they’re allowed to go out with friends.

Being flexible with chores as children grow will allow them to take ownership of their responsibilities, and develop independence. As they are given greater agency over their chores and themselves, they will develop that confidence they will need to build the “can-do” attitude which will help them through life.

10. Your Family is a Team

There are a lot of moving parts to a family. Everyone has their own roles and responsibilities, and sometimes it can feel lonely. But, at the end of the day, you are all on the same team, working towards the same goal.

Kids understand teamwork. It’s something they hear nonstop from teachers and coaches. Help them understand that they should apply that same collective mentality at home. The entire team can be on their game, but if the quarterback just decides to nap instead of passing the ball, the game will be lost.

A helpful team-building activity at home is to split rooms into chores and divide them among the family. Kids can see what happens when everyone does their part. Many hands make lighter work. If your children internalize this lesson, they will start to divide up jobs on their own. This will give your kids leadership skills and a pitch-in attitude.

As the team coaches, parents can encourage and direct from the sidelines. Watching the kids come together to accomplish a collective goal will be a win that will make everyone happy.

Takeaway

Chores are an important part of childhood. They prepare kids for school, jobs, and partnerships. Chores teach responsibility, build confidence, promote independence, and overall make your home a happier place to live.

Teach children early that their contributions to your home are important and valued, and you will raise productive members of society who will strive to make the world a better place.

Related:

• 5 Fun Ways To Teach Kids About Money
• 3 Ways To Make Frugality Fun for Kids
• What a ‘Wish Jar’ Can Teach Small Children About Spending Choices

About the Author

Annie Shoen is the co-founder and COO of My First Nest Egg, a chore, allowance and financial education app for kids. She is a former state prosecutor and now lives in Arizona with her husband and their four amazing kids..