The ABCs of a Better Relationship (26 Tips That Won’t Cost a Dime)

by Shaunna Privratsky

Before you pay for couple’s counseling, try the ABCs of a better relationship to get your relationship back on track. These 26 tips won’t cost you a dime.

You’ve been together forever, right? Your bedroom is about as exciting as, well, cleaning the garage. You can’t remember the last time he gave you a compliment or, for that matter, the last time you offered him one.

Before you flop into a therapist’s couch and dish out dough for couple’s counseling, try some of these inexpensive fixes.

A is for Appreciation

Tell your spouse how much you appreciate her effort at work. Show him how much you appreciate a special meal. No one ever gets tired of being appreciated.

B is for Bedroom

Banish boredom from the bedroom. Spice things up by trying something new.

C is for Consideration

Try some consideration. Romance starts long before you hit the sheets. Take care of each other.

D is for Diligence

Don’t give up. When couples hit a rough spot, they are all too ready to throw in the towel. Have faith in each other.

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E is for Energy

Get active. Join a gym together, share a sport, or just take a stroll around the block. The key is to get moving together. Your energy levels will explode.

F is for Fun

Make it fun again. Remember those crazy first dates? You didn’t have a lot of money back then, but you sure had some laughs. Recreate those dates and rekindle your romance.

G is for Growth

Forget the past. You’ve both apologized and forgiven one another. Now forget it and move on.

H is for Hobbies

Enjoy each other’s hobbies. Whatever your spouse’s hobby is, support it. Give each other the freedom to do things apart. When you come home, you’ll have lots of interesting tales to tell.

I is for Indulge

Indulgences once in a while can keep the home fires hot.

J is for Jokes

Laughter really can be the best medicine. Binge-watch a comedy series or go to a stand-up comedian’s show. Laugh together.

K is for Knowledge

Use your knowledge. You know what your spouse likes better than anyone, so use it.

L is for Linger

Savor the time you share. Instead of rushing through a meal, sit outside on the porch, deck, or steps. Pay attention to each other instead of doing six things at once.

M is for Making Out

Go back to first base. It sounds silly, but holding hands or stealing kisses in a dark theatre can lead to a deeper romance.

N is for Not Nagging

Nix the nagging. Instead of repeatedly nagging, use “I” statements and a clear action. For instance, you should say “I would like you to do the dishes twice a week to give me a break.” Don’t say “You never help out around the house. You’re just lazy.”

O is for Overlook

Overlook the small but harmless things your spouse does that drive you crazy.

P is for Pleasure

Offer a foot massage with no strings attached. Provide pure pleasure.

Q is for Quickies

Quickies are highly under-rated.

R is for Romance

Everyone is a romantic at heart. Light up some candles, play soft music, throw a soft quilt on the floor with lots of pillows and see what happens.

S is for Sex

Need I say more? See “R is for Romance.”

T is for Time

Make time for each other. Schedule at least one date a month, no matter how crazy-busy you are.

U is for Understanding

Share your partner’s worries, hopes, and dreams. By showing that you understand, your empathy and compassion will bring you closer.

V is for Valentine’s Day

Don’t wait for a special day on the calendar. Surprise him with flowers on an ordinary day or send her a love note just because. It will mean twice as much.

Related: Saying ‘I Love You’ for Less

W is for Write

Write down a list of things you love about her. Or send him a confidential email of all the things you want to do to him when he gets home from work.

X is for Xanadu

Create your own Xanadu together; have an idyllic or exotic place you share.

Y is for Yummy

Treat each other’s palate to a yummy love-fest.

Z is for Zeal

Renew your zeal for each other.

By following some or all of these tips, you are bound to rev up your relationship. You will be a stronger couple, looking forward to the rest of your lives together.

Reviewed February 2023

About the Author

Shaunna Privratsky became an expert in personal finance out of necessity. Between writing, reading and gardening, she is always on the lookout for bargains. Visit her at The Discount Diva.

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